More tranny stories later!
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
