You're completely useless in the revolution.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
