help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I love you.
Bad choice
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