9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
