remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
