She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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