The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
