She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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