have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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