FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
