I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
