Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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