My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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