it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
