I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We left the knife in your bed.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
