THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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