somebody snuck up and got me drunk
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Also, beer. Big fan.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
