I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
