he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Randomize
