JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize