The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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