HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
