we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
My bed is full of blood and feathers
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize