These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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