i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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