I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
