I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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