Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
