Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I am one with the molecules
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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