that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize