He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
