I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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