Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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