Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Enjoy the penises
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize