Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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