Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize