I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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