My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize