Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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