i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
