I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
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