porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
