it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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