you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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