And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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