Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
