I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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