last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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