i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
