even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Another day, another engagement, another cat
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I am available for nakedness
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
