i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize