It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
