my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
