I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
