i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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