Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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