So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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