He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
