I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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