Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
