we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
