We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
