if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
